7 Most Stupid Christmas Gifts Ever

Mooorning everyone! Enjoying Christmas fever? Running through shopping centres, buying gifts, planning holidays and meetings with old friends? I bet you are!
I’ve recently read Maria’s post at The Money Principle “How do we honestly feel about Christmas?”, and she made me realise that every single one of us, at some point in our lives, had received an utterly useless and simply stupid Christmas gift which we didn’t enjoy at all. Herein lies the rub – most of the times people go for the fake smile or an insincere ‘thanks’. It’s quite rude to say: ‘thank you, I don’t like it’, ‘I was expecting something else’ or just ‘seriously?!?!’, isn’t it?
Being a very curious person, I conducted a small piece of research on the topic of ‘The most stupid gift ideas of all time’. The reason for that was pretty simple: I wanted to know how far people can go with spending their own money on something hopelessly impractical. Please enjoy the following results.
1. Barack Obama toilet paper
I don’t think there’s much to say about this one. Couple of facts here: It’s no. 22 on the Amazon’s Home & Kitchen Best Sellers List. Some brilliant marketing was done with the description (emphasis my own):

  • ‘Printed on every sheet,
  • 3 ply extra thick and soft,
  • imaging will not smudge’

Oh, and it costs $11.27 per roll. I struggle to figure out who the target audience is here. On one hand I can’t imagine his enthusiasts wiping themselves with the portrait of their favourite leader, but on the other I can’t picture ‘the Romneys‘ paying more than 6 quid so that some of their friends or family can wipe their buttocks with Obama’s picture every morning. Ridiculous.

 2. Hands-Free Sandwich Holder
Hands-Free Sandwich Holder
I love the slogan: ‘Like a sandwich Bluetooth’. If one of your friends is a Bob Dylan fan, but he/she can’t play harmonica (although is pretty good with sandwiches and burgers), you’ve found the perfect gift. I bet it takes longer to place a sandwich in this brilliant invention and then move it closer to the front of the holder as you go through it but some people may find new challenges here. Just depends on how big of a nerd you want to be.
3. Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages
Bacon bandages
What an offer! For just $9,99 you’ll get 15 Bacon-like sticking plasters! Now, who wouldn’t like to have a slice of bacon stuck to their face after cutting themselves shaving? Who wouldn’t love to have it strapped around a finger and go to a business meeting? Both a bargain and the coolest thing to have! Well, aside from a social life and perhaps having friends….
4. Bread Gloves
Bread Gloves
Unfortunately, I have no proof that this product is real, but even if it’s not, it deserves an honourable mention on the list of the most stupid gift ideas ever. Think about it – you’ll never have to buy bread for your sandwiches! Just put on your bread gloves, grab some BLT and bite off your fingers!! Simple as that!
5. Luggage Scooter
Luggage Scooter
I’d love to see the corporate City slickers wearing their bespoke italian suits, racing down the Heathrow terminals…  The concept is quite clever, but it’s THE nerd-statement. It can be yours for *only* £247
6. Angled Reading Glasses
Angled Reading Glasses
The perfect gift for someone who’s known for being too lazy to lift his/her head up to read. Buy it online for $29.95. Look how happy she is!
7. USB Pet Rock
USB Pet Rock
Yes, your reading abilities are completely fine – it is a pet (genuine) rock. It does absolutely nothing, costs $10 and you can plug it into your PC’s USB slot, which still doesn’t make it do anything. I think I’d prefer to stick a banknote into my USB…
Couple of other gift ideas such as: Bacon Tie, Pooping Reindeers Holiday Sweater, Redneck Wine Glasses etc. were really close to be put on the list but my research team didn’t find them as stupid or useless as the ones above.  ;-)
Have you ever received a useless gift? What are your picks on the most ridiculous presents out there? Feel free to share in the comments!